His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she was so not down for the gang bang
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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