Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Found the puke drawer
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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