her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
