Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
