I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
