I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Dignity is for republicans.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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