how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
