I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's official drugs can't kill me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
