Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
