I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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