Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
