I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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