Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
