Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
