I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
