My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't think brook has ever known best
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
