i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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