She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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