when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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