Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We don't watch enough power rangers
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
