you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
