I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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