Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Success! We fucked roommates!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
