the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
