You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
