dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
