I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
