I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
