what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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