Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
