At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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