...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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