I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
