: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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