i permit you to call me
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
