Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you traded sex for a burrito?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
