ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
