do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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