I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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