It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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