sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
