I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
