she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
