he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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