Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I touched a dick in church today
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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