I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
