i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
