Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
