Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
