Your mouth is God's brothel.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
