question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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