Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
