I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
